Friday, November 28, 2008

The Day After

Yesterday was wonderful. No problems just lots and lots of the best food you ever put in your mouth, laughter, and one of the best Thanksgivings ever!!!!

Thanks MOM

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Family

I am up early so I can finish cooking, get a shower, wake up my son and drive a hour and a half to Wetumpka to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Normally I am very excited about holidays and spending time with my family, but today - not so much.

My baby sister Wendy called me last night in tears because Mom was being so hateful to her. Wendy along with another sister, Anne, and my sister in law Jean were all helping MOM cook yesterday. Wendy said that Mom was so hateful to everyone, but especially her all day. Mom wanted everything done a certain way - her way and she just nags and nags until you want to scream. My sister Anne called my Mom out on this. Mom went to Wendy and talked spack about feelings being hurt and such, but did not apologize or act remorseful. She said they were not going to get into this right now.

My Mom use to be our champion. She was always there for us, so loving and understanding, but lately she is bitter and cold. I know she doesn't like aging and the aches and pains that come along with it, but that is no excuse for treating us this way. My Mom is 70 years old and is not in the best of health, but you think she would want to sit back and allow us to help her, but no.... she has got to critical and snappy with every comment and remark.

I have the God given talent of holding my tongue and letting these things roll off my back. It still hurts, but I deal with it. My sister Wendy can normally do this as well, but lately Mom has gotten out of hand.

Now, today I must go to my parents, act as if nothing is wrong so there is no strife or confrontation. I love my family so much. There has got to be a way we can get to the bottom of this. I know Mother is in pain with her back and must go to the bathroom 50 times a day with her lack of a colon, but she shouldn't lash out to the ones who love her the most. Her friends, who she treats like queens aren't going to be there to take care of her - we are.

My Father adores Mother and waits on her hand and foot, but she treats him like a crap. I can't bear to think about losing my parents. I know the day is going to come and I don't want to have hard feelings toward Mom. I think I will talk to my sister Patty about this. She has always been Mom's favorite. (Patty is one in a million and deserves this distinction.) There is no one else on this earth that can approach Mom tactfully and lovingly to get to the root of the problem.

Well, I am going to hope for the best and try to hold my tongue. This is Thanksgiving and I am thankful to have both my Mom and Dad. I will take the abuse and watch her treat her family badly, though I wished I could do something to help her. Who knows maybe today we can all talk and work this thing out.

I don't really believe in horoscopes, but today it reads: You've got to make sure that you're not just chugging through the day without paying attention to those around you. There's a lot more going on than you realize yet, so open those eyes!" I guess we will see what happens today.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

I am excited about the Thanksgiving holiday. My very large family will meet at my parents in Wetumpka. There are 30 of us. I have two brothers and five sisters. My baby brother and his family will not be there - because he is in IRAQ and she and my two nieces live in Plymouth, Massachusetts. My two nieces Sarah and Heather, who go to college in Chicago will probably not be there. One of my nephews, Josh and his wife Becky, live in one of the Carolinas I am pretty sure they will not be there either. So There should be 22 people in my parents house Thanksgiving Day. Thank God they have a very big house!!!!

Mom makes the dressing, turkey and ham. We all bring drinks, rolls and our assigned side dishes. Today I will go ahead and prepare my dishes hash brown casserole and potato salad. We will have so much food it is unreal. We will eat, talk, laugh, draw names for Christmas, play canasta, rook and liverpool rummy.

We have girls night every couple of months. We take turns having it at each of our houses, but it is always at Mom's the Friday after Thanksgiving. All my sisters and I will meet back at Mom's at the crack of dawn, hit all the early bird sales, eat and laugh all day, and then spend the night. We will do karaoke, gossip and eat some more. I love traditions!!!

This year we have a lot to be thankful for. Alabama is winning!!!! Just kidding (not really) our family is one in a million. We truly love and enjoy being with one another. My best friends are my sisters. They always have been and always will be. I don't particularly like two of my brother in laws, but can't do anything about that - I tolerate them.

My husband should be in sometime today. He will go to his father's house tomorrow and that is fine with me. That way he is not rushing me. We have done this for the last few years and it seems to work pretty good. I love his family, but they have a very small house and they just sit around and watch TV. It is not too much fun. My niece will bring her twins who are like 2 years old and I don't do well around young children. My nephew owes my daughter over $1,000.00 and has made no attempt to pay her back. I am one who can't pretend to like you if I don't. It is just one of my personality flaws. They will do what they do and I will enjoy my family. Yes, my mother-in law makes the best dressing, but Ray will bring me some home.

Well, I better get up and at em. I have a lot to do today. I start my new job Monday and I just can't wait. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

TWILIGHT

I bought the first book, Twilight Friday. Finished it Saturday, got the second one, New Moon and finished it Sunday. I went to Wal-mart to get the third one, Eclipse, and they don't have it. What am I going to do without my Edward, Jacob and Bella fix? I heard the movie was not very good, but the movie is never as good as the book.

I wonder if Winn-Dixie will have it. We do not have a book store here. I guess I could check it out of the library, but I like to own my books because I like to read them multiple times.

I saw the previews of the movie and I must confess that I do not like the Edward character, he does not come close to how I pictured the perfect vampire. The ones playing Bella and Jacob met my expectations.

I want to finish the books before I start work Monday Dec 1st. Hopefully I will find it today. If you like to read and have not read these books yet, I highly recommend them.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gotta Love him

My 19 year old son is going to try to find a job today. He is going to the job fair at the local junior college. I will make sure he is dressed nice and accompany him there so I can indeed verify he is searching for a job. He is a sweet talker, so maybe today will be the day. Of course if he gets a job, he will work like a month or so and then quit because of some random reason. This kid has had more jobs in a year than I have had my whole life and I am pushing 50. Can't understand why he can't figure this out. No job= no car+no money+no life. This is not hard to understand.

He keeps talking about going to college. My reply, "Great, go for it, get a student loan, fill out the paperwork". Since MOM won't do it for him, he just sits around and talks about it. I just paid $625.00 for his second noise violation. (The first one cost $325.00 which he paid cause he did have a job at the time).

I almost let him go to jail, but I couldn't bear the thought of him being some big greasy guys' b***ch. Could you? Of course not. As I cashed the check cause you have to pay in cash or money order, I said Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday for several years there big man. Hate that you can't growup and quit playing your music so loud that you get hauled off to jail - makes no sense.

His father is going to FREAK OUT when he finds out. Hopefully I can get by without having to tell him. Oh well, what ya gonna do? His Dad would say something like, "Jail will be good for him, atleast he will have a roof over his head, food to eat and it will make a man of him". Can you believe that? This is my child - my baby. I can't send him to jail and ruin his life. Why? It would be different if he was on drugs, killed someone or committed a violent crime, but he played his music too loud while riding down Broad Street. I just took his car away and jerked the system out of it too. That should fix the problem, right?

Oh well, thank God my husband is in Delaware or Iowa who knows? He drives a truck and only comes home on the weekends. He doesn't have a clue about anything except truck stops and mile markers and exits - DRIVES ME CRAZY, but I love him. He is a good person, just has no patience!!!! I pray everyday that he doesn't go to jail himself for an act of road rage.

Everyone has their problems and this is mine. Prayer and Zanex really help.
Hopefully he will find a job, get a car, get a place of his own, grow up and enjoy his life.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I thank God for his blessings

I was offered a great job today with the state of Alabama and of course I accepted it. A door was recently closed, but God opened another and I am so thankful.
I begin this new chapter in my life Dec the 1st. I am so excited and can't wait to get back to work. I won't be working for a politician and I will be working with MEN, who I seem to get along with better than witchie women.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Roll Tide

Tomorrow #1 ranked University of Alabama plays Mississippi State. I am very excited. Yes, I know they are gunning for us and it should be a good game. LSU almost got us last week and if I drank I would have gotten drunk during that game, but instead I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. I hope we show some fire tomorrow. We have got to come out to play football and win. Then we can play Auburn. I hope we can break the losing trend and come out undefeated!!!

Roll Tide!!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Friends?

Have you ever had a friend turn on you? Well, I have and what I discovered is true friends are hard to find.
One of my so called friends. This person is not capable of being a friend. She is a liar and has tried to ruin my good name. If I have a problem with someone I go to them and try to resolve it. She couldn't do this - no, because that us what a friend would do.
Anyway this "so called friend" filed the following complaints of me along with another person, who I never considered as a friend. she was a just member of my staff, but I did not know she had a problem with me. I especially did not know she would go along with such lies and deceit.

You live and learn, here are the complaints:

October 17, 2008
Ms. Cook met with Probate Judge/Commission Chairman KB, RA, GD and BW, Human Resources Director in September 2008 to discuss work issues and improve staff work relationships. Since that meeting the following complaints have been made by staff:


Allegations that immediately following meeting with Judge B and Ms. W XXX has become a hostile work environment in which there is harassment, verbal abuse, and staff is addressed with abusive demeanor from the XXX Director, Addresses staff in a “harsh, abusive and threatening manner.”

Alleges Ms. C called a staff meeting following meeting with Judge B and told them that she was tired of people talking behind her back and was looking for another job. Stated to staff that she “could not work with people who did not trust her and would not work with people she couldn't trust. Told staff to learn all the could about XXX so they would know what to do when she was gone.(Staff feels this was a most unprofessional way to handle situation.)

Allegations that Ms. C makes demeaning, sarcastic remarks to others, regarding staff. (i.e. RA scheduling training, etc.)

Allegations of Ms. C making sarcastic remarks to staff and addresses staff in a condescending tone regarding work matters. ( i.e. RA regarding Agenda).

Both Ms. A and Ms. D allege that they are excluded from day-to-day activities and operational updates. States Ms. C (Director) doesn't want staff to know anything. Wants control and no one in her way.

Ms. D feels that since Ms. A is Deputy Director, she should be Ms. C's “right hand”, but states that Ms. C doesn't included Ms. A in anything. Feels she “appears to want staff to fail, so that she can get all “fame and glory”, rather than credit going to a team effort.

Alleges that Ms. C continues to E-mail versus directly communicate with staff. Did not inform them directly that she was taking 2 weeks vacation starting Sept 26, 2008. Stated they found out through E-mail.

Staff does not want to report to work daily because of tense, hostile environment.

Here is my response to these ridiculous complaints that are nothing but fabrications:



Date: October 18, 2008



RE: Response to Complaints


1. I do not believe that XXX is a hostile work environment. I do believe there is a degree of animosity in the air, the bulk of which I feel is directed towards me. Ms. A does not accept constructive criticism of her job performance very well and makes it a personal issue. I deny the allegations that I have addressed RA or GD in a "harsh, abusive and threatening manner".

2. I did instruct Ms. A and Ms. D to learn about emergency management by taking the on line courses and asking questions because it is part of their job. As Deputy Director Ms. A would need to step up in the event of my absence, and it would be pertinent for her to know this information. I feel that I handle all aspects of this job in a forthright and professional manner.

3. I have not made demeaning, sarcastic remarks to others, regarding staff. Please contact Ms R if additional verification is needed. Aside from that, it is difficult to respond to allegations based on feelings and how another individual interprets my remarks and tone. I can only respond based on how the remarks and tone was intended.

4. I also deny the allegations of sarcastic remarks to staff and addressing staff in a condescending tone regarding work matters. I am very thorough in my job and if someone tells me one thing (i.e that the information Ms. A got from her training would be beneficial to other agencies) and then when I try to implement that by suggesting it be put on the agenda and Ms. A says that’s not necessary, I question that and ask Ms. A one more time to make sure we are on the same page. I do not believe that is condescending, I just believe it is doing my job serving the XXXXXXXXX to the best of my ability.

5. I deny the allegations that I exclude my staff from day-today activities and operational updates. I include Ms. A and Ms. D in all relevant XXX activities and keep them updated to the best of my ability. We have had several staff meetings and general discussions. I encourage them to ask questions and I answer their questions to the best of my ability. I deny the allegations that "I do not want staff to know anything". I encourage my staff to participate in training opportunities, exercises, meetings, etc (please see the response to complaint # 2). I have written step by step procedures for almost all aspects of day to day operations and emergency operations. Ms. A has expressed her dislike for procedures, however that is the basis of XXX. The staff has access to procedural check lists, standard operating guidelines, emergency operation plans, etc. I encourage the staff to educate themselves by taking on line Independent Study courses.
I do not understand the allegation of, "wants control and no one in her way"; therefore I can not provide a response.


6. I deny the allegations that "I do not include Ms. A in anything". Due to the animosity I explained in my response to the first complaint, Ms. A is reluctant and unwilling to effectively communicate with me. Her negative attitude hinders our interaction and collaboration. On several occasions, I have asked Ms. A to provide input and ideas. If I chose to modify, enhance or do not utilize her ideas, she becomes irritated, withdrawn and will not provide her full participation. I face a difficult challenge with Ms. A as my "right hand". I have tried everything I know to do to the best of my ability. I have asked Judge B for advice, but he told me that it will all work out. Perhaps I need training on how to deal with a difficult employee. I received some information on such training available in Alabama and would be very willing to take advantage of it.
I do not fully understand the statement, "appears to want staff to fail, so that she can get all "fame and glory", rather than credit going to a team effort. If my staff fails, that is a bad reflection on me and I take great pride in the success of our program. I do not seek fame and glory. I am very modest and feel embarrassed by praise and compliments.


7. I deny the allegations that I continue to E-mail versus directly communicate with my staff. Whenever possible, I provide direct verbal communications with Ms. A and Ms. D, followed up by email. I forward Ms. A and Ms. D all State XXX correspondence I receive via email. It has always been my experience that email or notes or memos are a good supplement to verbal communication. With everything that goes on in a day at the XXX office, it is very easy to forget a conversation that happened only moments ago. Therefore, I like to email for my benefit and for the benefit of others so that nothing falls through the cracks.
I deny the allegation that I did not inform them directly that I was taking 2 weeks vacation starting September 26, 2008. I followed the normal protocol, checked the calendars, had all of my forms filled out and approved and upon that approval told my staff. I left the key to my truck with Ms. A.


8. As for the staff stating that they do not want to come to work due to the “tension and hostile work environment”, no one likes to work around tension and ill-will. I am not excluded from this, it is not always pleasant for me but it is my job and as a professional I put that ahead of my personal feelings. I regret that Ms. A and Ms. D did not come to me directly with their concerns and complaints.
--
I just hope maybe someone will learn from my experience. Yes I am glad that I am no longer employed there. I worked my butt off while they say back and criticized everything. I hope they can sleep at night and look at themselves in the mirror.


Saturday, November 1, 2008

I am FREE

Well, it finally happened. I quit my job. I can't believe it, but I did. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know I have not blogged for a while so let me tell you the drama I have been going through these last few weeks.

You can tell from my previous blogs that I have been having some problems with a disgruntled employee and a horrible, vendictive, arrogant, ignorant, unsupportive boss - who just happens to be the Probate Judge & Chairman of the County Commission.

Well, on October the 17th, I was abruptly called into the HR Directors office where I was told I was being placed on a week of paid Admin Leave, due to complaints from my staff. She did not tell me what these complaints were, but she told me to respond to them in writing by Monday the 20th. Then she told me to leave and give her the keys to the county truck. I was in shock, but I did exactly what she said.

When I got home, I called my attorney (who just so happens to be the county attorney too). He told me to get the complaints in writing and then respond honestly to them. I did this thinking I would get to face them and respond to these complaints. THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.

What I discovered was the county had abolished the due process procedures and all county employees work "at will". This was not good, I knew my A$$ was grass.

Well, people in the community started writing letters and calling their commissioners and the probate judge. This made them furious. How dare their constituants question them about internal county business. Can you believe they actually said that?

Anyway, to make a very long story short, I knew I was gone. The Judge has been gunning for me for a while - mainly because I did not kiss his a** and I stood up to him when he was wrong.

After I was placed on another week of paid admin leave, I saw the writing on the wall - I resigned before they could terminate me. It felt good - it felt real good!!!

Now today in the Selma Times Journal you have got to read this article. It will blow your mind.
Here is the link - http://www.selmatimesjournal.com/news/2008/oct/31/dallas-county-ema-director-resigns/

Seems to me he wanted my job all along- I should have figured as much. You know power and authority can make you so blind, he actually thinks he can do it, the man has gone off the deep end.

So, that is my story and I am sticking to it. I have put in applications for the State and other counties. I got my ranking back from the state and guess what - I am number 1 on the register. I am so excited. Please pray for me and the citizens of our county that we don't have a disaster.